9.99

Or alternatively, RunKeeper is a lying child of dubious parentage.

That’s probably not fair. I have no idea if RunKeeper or Garmin is lying but I’m blaming RunKeeper simply because it is always the foreshortener. The mangler of metres. The yanker of yards. The de-frocker of distance.

Anyone who doesn’t run is now probably wondering what the hell I’m going on about. In fact I’d go as far (unlike RunKeeper) as saying that it’s not just non-runners who are wondering what I’m banging on about.

Let me explain.

I went running yesterday evening. I ran for 10.05km. I hit the 10km mark according to my Garmin Forerunner 410 (available in all good sport shops and some shit ones) just around the corner from where I had parked my car and I kept running for a little bit just to make sure no one was in any doubt the 10km mark had been broken.

Everyone was convinced.

Except RunKeeper.

And so, I now have a workout kicking around that clocks in at 9.99km.

I have no idea why it bothers me so much, because:-

a) No one cares

b) No one cares, and

c) Even if someone did care they’d probably focus on the 9.99km I completed rather than the 0.01km that I didn’t complete (except I did, and more, but fine whatever).

Actually I know exactly why it bothers me. It’s because I pushed hard for the last 2 km to break 50 minutes for 10km. Not an earth shattering time but having run 10km the night before it was a good achievement for me on tired non-race-ready legs.

But again, so what? I know I ran the distance I believe to be 10km and only stopped once it clocked over, so why do I give a shit? Because my Garmin watch talks to RunKeeper and RunKeeper talks to Facebook and Facebook talks to the world and forever more it will sit on a social media site as 9.99km.

Wow, amazing how the truth will out. Why oh why does this stuff bother me? Am I so shallow that RunKeeper blatantly lying about the distance I covered is enough to send me into a post run rage?

My capacity for getting angry about utterly pointless shit knows no bounds.

I will console myself in the knowledge that I will get an equal amount of Facebook likes whether I did 9.99 or 10.05 and so my existence has been justified through the gods of social media.

I shouldn’t care. But I do. Go figure.

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