Ten Truth Tuesday

1. It’s highly unlikely this will become a regular feature. However, I was literally getting snow-blindness from staring at a blank page over the last two days and I had to do something. As an interesting (you be the judge) aside once your retinas are properly word processor scorched try closing your eyes. It looks like an orange door floating close enough to touch…and beyond the door is a magical world where writing flows like methylated spirits through a piece of cheap bread and oh bugger it’s gone.

2. My wife is showing signs of being a foodie parent. I caught her cutting viennas for the kids on the angle.

3. I over-yelled at my daughter today. I kept quiet the first three times she kicked me while I tried to get her dressed on the changing table but on the fourth one I yelled “STOP” as loudly as I could. Right in her face. I then followed it up with a completely unnecessary “IT’S ENOUGH.” I felt pathetic. She kicked me. We moved on.

4. I set a new record for drafting enraged responses to a single email before deleting, trying to calm down and redrafting. Seventeen attempts. Sending any of them would have been a career limiting move. I should have sent them all.

5. I failed on run number one of my new nine week running plan to return to marathon fitness and start prepping for the Two Oceans Ultra next Easter. Come to think of it the Two Oceans site keeps bouncing my entry every time I try to pay. It’s a sign…

6. I daydreamed earlier that I was a monkey reincarnated as a man. I was successful, handsome (it was a daydream) and the proud owner of the largest fez collection in the northern hemisphere. In short I had everything. Until I went on holiday to a vague eastern European country and was set upon by vicious musicians in the employ of my arch-fez-nemesis (Bernard Muldoon III). They exposed my achilles heel – the uncontrollable urge to dance to accordion music – and led me on a merry jig to the edge of a cliff from which I plummeted to my death.

7. I’m nearly 5000 words behind in my imaginary NaNoWriMo competition in my mind. My internal cat-flavoured muse claims to have produced 7238 words already but she’s hiding the manuscript behind a wall of canned tuna.

8. I haven’t had an alcoholic drink for two nights and I haven’t missed the sweet nectar dripping from the brow of Gods to ease my soul via my poor, parched desolate mouth in any way.

9. I find being truthful extremely difficult and tend to wrap everything in some kind of loose comedic blanket to lessen my shame. A great big comedic crutch in the shape of a distended badger and formed entirely of unused vowels mined from the hills of North Wales. See. Told you.

10. I’m going to bed now.

 

Header image: “Accordéon diatonique”. Licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons – https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Accord%C3%A9on_diatonique.jpg#/media/File:Accord%C3%A9on_diatonique.jpg

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19 thoughts on “Ten Truth Tuesday

  1. 72. It’s a… good number. I like it. Seven… and two. Seventy-two. How long does it take for X-money to be 2x-money if I have 10% interest? About 7 years. How about if I have 14% interest? About 5 years. How about 72% interest? Exactly 1 year. Seventy-two. Good number. The next time you make a list, consider 72. Then again, it might not be as easy, but you’re having troubles with NaNo-bullshitting so there you go.

    I don’t know what character voice wrote this comment, but I approve of it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi, just to add a more serious note to your range of comments..! re. point 9, I find your post to be very honest and the comedic blanket is only a slim covering. Can totally empathise with point 3 and with your wife re. point 5. (Luckily my husband has now done two ultras and I’m hoping he has got that desire out of his system for a while. There’s only so much running talk I can feign interest in). Its always fun reading your posts, so you are brightening our days if nothing else 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s such a lovely comment Rebecca – thank you. I’ve had a fairly shitty working week so far and have been low on creativity so to hear that you are having fun reading my posts means a lot and is perfectly timed 🙂

      I’m glad you can see through whatever comedic veil I throw out – it’s good to know that I’m not totally hiding. Oh, and I’m in a certain amount of awe of anyone who has managed to complete an ultra so good on your hubby (and good on you for feigning interest, my wife is equally long-suffering!)

      Hope your writing is going well – I know you’ve been battling a bit recently so I hope things are on the up 🙂

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  3. Well to continue on the object theme I’m currently writing a piece about a front door… who knows where that will take me! I don’t hear many positive comments from you about your workplace, I hope it isn’t too emotionally draining! Hope it gets a bit better the rest of this week.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Will look forward to reading it 🙂 I often find the most mundane objects or prompts can be disproportionately inspiring! There’s always an element of only presenting the negatives in terms of something like work issues because it’s easier to do so – I work with a (mostly) great bunch of people which is a real positive but it can often be a very challenging and negative environment unfortunately. It’s already getting better by the fact I’ve only got the rest of today and tomorrow until the weekend 🙂 Hope you are having a good day.

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      • Sounds like where I work; great colleagues and lovely patients but working for the NHS is challenging at the best of times! I’m not sure how good my door story is but I’ll post it up in next few days and welcome any feedback of course. Happy weekend!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yes – I can imagine that’s quite a tough environment! Look forward to reading what you’ve come up with – I’m going to do my best to come up with something new this weekend instead of finding new homes for old tales 🙂 We shall see…

        Have a lovely weekend also!

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  4. I like Ten Truth Tuesday and I admire your truthfulness, even with its sushi wrappings of comedy-rice. That metaphor sounded better before I typed it, but since we’re being truthful here, I decided to leave it so you can see the kind of drivel I come up with before editing. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Also, to echo Rebecca, I had a great time reading this post. Your sense of humor and writing style are wonderful. (Snowblindness from staring at a blank page – haha!) I’m sorry this week has been so dreary for you. I hope that by today, Thursday, it’s gotten better, OR if not, then hooray for being closer to the weekend!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Awww…you guys… 🙂 I’m truly feeling the love – thank you. It’s been a dire week but I’m sure there are millions of people who’ve had a much worse week than me so I’m trying to keep it in perspective. Friday is looming large so we’re almost across the line…

      I think we have huge similarities in both style and humour (not that I’m dumbing you down to my level!) so I’m very glad to be able to swap comments with you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • “A rest” you say? What is this thing of which you speak? I seem to recall it from a time and place before small people invaded my house 😉

        Thanks Shannon 🙂 Weekend life is busy but fun – it’s certainly a rest from the week and I love it!

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