Einstein claimed that energy can neither be created nor destroyed.

I’ve spent the last fifteen minutes half-heartedly swiping at a fly who keeps landing on my monitor. This is not your typical full-of-energy fly. This poor sod can’t even summon up the will to buzz. He paddles around in ever decreasing circles, I paw at him with ever decreasing energy until at last he settles on the wall and I settle back into my chair.

I wonder if the two of us have created some kind of lethargy-vortex. There is matter and antimatter. Perhaps there is energy and anti-energy? I would ask her about Uncle Energy but she has a wan and distant look these days so I will play along with the lie that he never existed.

So as the life was mutually sucked from myself and my new friend the fly I got to thinking about where all that energy was going. At some point I unplugged my phone to see if it would charge purely on the basis of lethargy redistribution but to no avail.

I did get pins and needles earlier.

Maybe it’s a sign.

I’m not saying Einstein was wrong.

But equally I’m not ruling out the possibility that myself and the fly have created some kind of Bermuda triangle which even now is dulling my keystrokes and sucking the remaining life out of the room. A cockroach dropped dead in the corner earlier. Both my cats appeared at the door and backed away (slowly) as if fearful for one or more of their eighteen combined lives and the ceiling fan looks sluggish to the point of tears. I’d rage against the dying of the light but to be honest it seems like a whole lot of effort.

Update: Somewhere in the desert that exists between the oases of Ctrl-C and Ctrl-V (directly in between the small hamlet of LibreOffice and the sprawling metropolis of WordPress) I twatted the fly with an A5 laminated piece of cardboard that proclaims my son graduated from Clamber Club in December 2012.

Perhaps I should say proclaimed as, upon impact, it exploded in a flash of blinding beige light leaving me with charred fingertips and a renewed sense of vigour.

Good job really as I’ve got to find an image to go with this nonsense now.


Header image: “Common housefly, Musca domestica 2015-08-06 4” by Junkyardsparkle – Own work. Licensed under CC0 via Wikimedia Commons –,_Musca_domestica_2015-08-06_4.jpg#/media/File:Common_housefly,_Musca_domestica_2015-08-06_4.jpg

2 thoughts on “Bertie

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