A little bit of Christmas fun from two years ago. There might be a sequel this year, you never know…
*
Up on the mountain near Woodstock’s dark cave
A few jumps to the left if you’re young and you’re brave
Is a lesser known place, a less obvious space
Where the odd buck or goat disappears without trace
Inside is a creature who’d give you a fright
His body is red and his eyes black as night
His snout shoots out smoke…
…and his roar is no joke
He’s Dai the Red Dragon (well known to Welsh folk)
He’s lived in the mountain since seventy four
(When JPR, Gareth and Phil came on tour)
When he yawns, the southeaster howls down to the sea
On breath with the faint whiff of kudu-bone tea
But none of this matters much more than a jot
His stories are many, there are such a lot
The tale for the telling at this time of year
Is all about Christmas. And bogeys. And beer.
Picture the scene if you will or you dare
A boy filled with anger on his naughty chair
Grumpily kicking and picking his nose
And wiping the contents right into his clothes.
The day had begun with much promise and cheer
Helping his dad fill some bottles with beer
A three year old brewing is rare I’ll admit
But his duties do not include tasting one bit
There’s washing and drying and measuring sugar
And in the odd bottle a bonus stray booger
There’s filling and capping and labelling too
But listen to Dad or the helping time’s through.
So after a time of ignore and repeat
Young Rhys found his way to the naughty-boy seat
The drumming of legs and a thought oh so clear
Won’t someone please come and drink all my dad’s beer?
The wish of a child swept along on the breeze
Swished its way up to Dai who was eating some cheese
Enlisting the help of a cow he’d befriended
A cheddary smoky concoction he’d blended
The cheese was quite salty and Dai had a thirst
The whisper of beer was welcome, but first
He tidied his cave as good dragons are taught
Then flew off to set about gallon and quart
He hid in the garden and waited for night
Storytime ended and off went the light
Into the man-cave that housed all the booze
Went Dai the Red Dragon, some bottles to choose
In less than ten minutes Dad’s Special Red Ale
Had settled quite nicely in Dai’s long red tail
The lager and stout filled him up to the snout
And groaning he waddled and weaved his way out
By the time he got back to his dragonly den
Poor Dai was a mess. He was bloated, and then
A rumble that started right down in his scales
Turned into a belch that was bigger than Wales
The mountaintop shook as the burp flew up high
Way up to the stars in the twinkling sky
And as it grew colder the beery air
Turned into a cloud that was fleecy and fair
It grew and got darker and covered the lands
As Dai held his head in his red dragon hands
The temperature dropped and Dai whispered “Oh no…”
As the high heat of summer converted to snow
That’s really what happened, no hint of a joke
As Rhys rubbed his eyes and he slowly awoke
He walked to his window and there on the ground
Six inches of snow and no sun to be found
Snowballs and turkey and laughter and cuddles
A snowman today will be Boxing Day puddles
Remarkably Dad filled with Christmassy cheer
Forgot to ask anyone “Where is my beer?”
For a proper white Christmas instead of the heat
Was a sight to behold and a very rare treat
And so the whole family resolved to have fun
And wish Merry Christmas to you everyone
*
And a very happy, merry or whatever thingy to you and yours. Cheers friend. xx
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My Dear Mrs D – merry wosnim right back atcha 🙂 Looking forward to another year of sharing laughs and nonsense with you in 2016 x
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I’m raising my (well guarded) beer 🍺and givin’ ya’ a cheer,🎶 Merry Christmas, mate.🎶 🎄🎅
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Virtual toast underway 🙂 And to you Mel – hope 2016 will be a great year 🙂
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