Tuesday Free Write Experimental Thingamabob

Last time I tried a free writing experiwosname I wasted a whole bunch of time (mine and yours) going on about useless prompts I’d been given as part of the let’s do a search on google for stuff to write about adventure I’d embarked upon.

No such frippery this time.

Unless you count the whole recapping past blogs thing.

But you’re not that pedantic, right?

The clock is ticking. Not literally as that would be highly distracting but tempus is most certainly fugiting its way down in sleek iPhone fashion (it’s only the 4S – don’t get too excited). I suspect the table will start rumbling in whatever’s left of four minutes time and wake the kids.

I’m not waiting for it though. I hate waiting. Waiting rooms in particular. They should actually be called weighting rooms as I’m convinced that the very essence of time takes on physical mass and starts pressing down on you on groaning waves from the moment you sit down. Assuming there’s seat. Which there never is. The only thing that stops the whole place from collapsing into some localised but highly effective black hole is the counter-push of shit second-hand magazines placed in a seemingly haphazard (but universally aligned) fashion upon dreary, forlorn occasional tables balancing the whole cosmic event.

Time’s up but I’m going to carry on as I’m having fun. As are we I hear you cry in dulcet harmonies which may or may not be voices in my head. I’m going to err on the side of arrogance and assume it’s the former and that you can barely contain your excitement as to where this is going to go next.

Backwards. That’s where. Back to occasional tables. I mentioned them earlier but if I’m honest I have no idea what makes an occasional table occasional. What differentiates it from a coffee table? Do they come nested? And, most importantly, what do they do when they aren’t being tables, which, in all truth, would appear to be the far greater part of their existence?

There’s probably a point to all this. Someone can read this, dissect it, resect it and feed it to insects before casting down a damning verdict on the state of my Tuesday brain. I can only hope they see no need to ask me uncomfortable questions about my childhood relationship with my mother.

Eleven minutes. Somewhere near four hundred words. Do the math. The answer is irrelevant but it’ll just take your mind off me for the split second I need to worm my magic into your brain and leave you addicted to the maddening nonsense language I call blog.

 

Header image: By Russell Lee – U.S. National Archives and Records Administration, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=17047040

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13 thoughts on “Tuesday Free Write Experimental Thingamabob

  1. Always enjoy where your worded journey takes us…
    How we all hate the hurry up and wait. Always thought it some secret scam between magazine companies & waiting rooms, in particular, Doctor Surgeries that force you to read what you’d never buy.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You are a true slightly bonkers kindred spirit Mel! I had a funny feeling I wouldn’t be the sole member of the wait-hate club – glad to have you on board 🙂

      Thanks for reading and commenting – always good to hear from you

      Liked by 1 person

    • Entertaining could be my middle name if it wasn’t Brian.

      Rabbit hole avoidance measures are always a good plan on a Wednesday morning – I salute your practical sensibilities.

      Cheers for reading and commenting (and services to retweeting) – always very much appreciated 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Great work as always Nik. You have inspired me: I must look at the magazine selection in the waiting room at my workplace and think about the poor patients who have to read them. (We also have very few seats and an occasional table with leaflets on about how to make a complaint… that’s the NHS for you.)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hehe – you and I have such a similar sense of humour it seems. That’s definitely a love-it-or-hate-it kind of a paragraph and I’m very happy to not be laughing alone!

      Between you having fun and creating meteorological phenomena I feel like I’m being showered with compliments while basking in the collective sunshine of shared nonsense 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh you’ll definitely never be laughing alone, I love nonsense humor! And get used to the compliments. In fact, protect your town, because my tidal wave of friendship is comin’ atcha! Hahaha. (You should probably get used to corny stuff like that too.)

        Liked by 1 person

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