Silken Yellow Noose

It’s Wednesday folks and that can only mean one thing! So here for your (brief) reading pleasure is this week’s failed* submission to the Adhoc Fiction 150 word challenge. The word prompt was bow and I hope you enjoy it as much as the voting public did.

Actually I’d prefer it if you enjoyed it a whole lot more than the voting public did. If it isn’t too much trouble.

* when I said failed submission I must just clarify that I didn’t fail to actually submit it. How rubbish would that be? I mean, I clearly suck, but that would be Dyson-On-Steroids levels of sucking.

Her hair is dark. Held back from her face with a simple bow in yellow silk as bright and pure as a single teardrop from a lemon sun. Her back is always turned. I try to speak, but the fickle mistress of dreams stays my tongue and I am left unsure if the woman with the sunlit ribbon in her hair knows I exist.

Such is the power of the vision that she bleeds into my waking thoughts. As dreams are spiteful, destiny is cruel. Our futures may never collide and yet she remains on the very fringes of possibility. Ever close. Ever far. Consuming me in delicate, scented mouthfuls. Hollowing me out without malice or intent.

On days such as this where steel clouds cocoon the sky and madness prowls I wonder if a silken yellow noose will support the weight of my pain.

 

Header image: By gailhampshire from Cradley, Malvern, U.K – Tussar Silk Moth Caterpillar. Antheraea mylitta.; yellow form., CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=37844523

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12 thoughts on “Silken Yellow Noose

  1. Hi Nik, I feel your sense of rejection; look up the sun is shining.
    I was once advised that the mastery of the short short is the ambiguity of the words, let the depth float in the imagination of the reader. But first put an idea into his/her head.
    Avoid tautology and adverbs or in plain English, useless words. When you write make every word count and create a somersault in the readers mind.
    Sorry just waffling…here is a six word novel to ponder.

    She dropped the book; the end.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for the comment James – always appreciated – you can come and waffle around this site whenever you choose! I’m finding these 150 word pieces are a chance to experiment with styles and scenes on a whatever-comes-into-my-head-first basis. Avoid useless words is as good a mantra as any for a writer I’d say. Feels somewhere along the lines of Stephen King’s advice to “not make it sound like writing”.

      I like your six word novel – don’t know if you’ve ever checked out Nina Karadzic’s site (www.inoirvelvet.com) but I think you might enjoy it. She’s got over 1000 six word stories on there now so much pondering is possible! She certainly embodies the make every word count tenet.

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  2. Ooh, I like the relating of the bow to a noose.

    Random question: Have you heard of Pixabay.com? It’s an image database where every picture is free to use with no attribution required. They’ve got a lot of high-quality images there that you might enjoy for your blog or Literally Stories.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank’ee kindly milady 🙂

      Nope – complete new one on me but clearly I’m going to have to go and check it out now, or just file it for reference and go and spend time there when I should be writing 😉 Thanks for the tip!

      Liked by 1 person

    • A return tip for you – Firewords (www.firewords.co.uk) are open for submissions from 29 May to 11 June. Lovely magazine, great bunch of people and definitely a place worth submitting to. Remains my one and only published-in-print-feather-in-cap but even beyond that bias it’s just a really great publication!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hey Nik, some great imagery here. Thought-provoking and sad. I do wonder, as you have said before, whether the attention span of the voting readers of this competition is sufficient to appreciate the quality of your writing after trawling through all the other entries! Better luck this week, I’ve got one up there too this time!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Rebecca! I’m having a lot of fun with these entries and at the very least it’s giving me something regular to post on a Wednesday! I’ve gone with a comedy route this week just to see what happens. Was pleased to see your name on the list for this week – best of luck to you too (and between you and me even if you don’t win I’m prepared to wager yours will be better than the piece that does!).

      Don’t know if it’s something you knew about or would be keen on but Firewords (www.firewords.co.uk) are open for submissions for Issue 7. Lovely magazine, great bunch of people and remains the only place I’ve ever been in print! I think it’s from May 29 to June 11 from memory.

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      • I’ll look out for a comedy piece then. Thanks for the vote of confidence, but mine is a bit too ambiguous again as to what is happening I think! Well it was obvious to me, but not to my other half when he read it..oh well!
        Not heard about Firewords but will check it out, thanks 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • It’s tough to be explicit and exact in such a short word count that’s for sure! So if I find a well-written piece that confuses me I’ll mark it down as potentially yours 🙂

        Like

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