Obviating The Apoplects

According to the wonderfulness of the world wide interweb, blog etiquette – and by etiquette I mean tricks you can perform to get more readers engaged – dictates that a blog post should end with a question.

There was probably a point to that opening paragraph but then I got distracted by two things.

Firstly, the idea of a blog dictating something conjured up images of a whole bunch of words clustering together to form a likeness of Hitler strutting rage-filled and jack-booted across my perfect word-free (undoubtedly white, possibly blond-haired and blue-eyed) page spouting propaganda.

Secondly, I got to wondering if it would be simpler to just read the last line of every post in a cliched Australian accent so that a question would be implied? Thereby obviating the need to pose an actual question.

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Consequence

Welcome one and all to the third instalment of my new regular feature, Stories That Have Failed To Win The Weekly AdHoc Fiction 150 Word Competition!

In this week’s adventure (word prompt: Stone) we begin with a man digging a hole…

*

“That’s deep enough.”

Ray kept digging anyway and got a gun-butt between the shoulder blades for his trouble.

“I said that’s deep enough. Get on your knees.”

“Please. I’ve got money. I can double anything they’re paying you. I…”

The laughter that followed suited the pig mask but not the situation. “Come on Ray. Seriously? You’ve been in this game so long you’re starting to sound like a contract. You must have known it was going to end like this? The only thing further off limits than Jimmy’s money is his wife and you put your hands on both. And so here we are. You know the rules.”

Ray nodded. “Shallow and n…”

The gunshot choked the word before it could be released.

“And no stone,” muttered pig-mask and picked up the shovel. “Shallow and no stone.”

*

Join us again next week kids for a brand new failure!

 

Header image: By Carlos Schwabe – Transferred from en.wikipedia to Commons., Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=2054522

A 26 Step Love Story

“Amy.”

“But isn’t she…?”

“Christ! Don’t give me that bullshit. Every girl who ignores you is a lesbian in your book.”

“Fair point, but that wasn’t what I was going to ask.”

“Go on.”

“Heard she was seeing that weird guy from accounts.”

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