My New Novel! Released This Weekend!

In my mind.

That’s the beauty of headlines and blog posts – you can make up any old shit and it’ll grab some attention. Sure, in the long run people might start to see through the old classics of sticking Jesus, Porn, Jesus Porn and NaNoWriMo in your tags list but it’s still fun at the time.

The truth is I was shocked to discover that I’ve written the sum total of five blog posts in 2018 – which is probably five more than the sum total of stories I’ve written this year – and I felt the need to ramble on to all 283 of you kindly souls who’ve stuck by me through these lean times.

When I say “stuck by me” I mean it in the truest “entirely forgotten I existed” sense of the phrase.

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A Headline, A Drabble And A Haiku Walk Into A Blog

Our breaking story at the top of the hour…ruling party in turmoil as slush fund revealed to be “slightly frozen water”

Senior politicians are tonight distancing themselves from fresh allegations of corruption after two prominent Indian businessmen are seen leaving a Saxonwold shebeen with what eye-witnesses have described as a “leaky black holdall”. Moments later the pair were seen in a heated exchange where the taller of the two proclaimed “this is not the fifteen and twelfty million Msholozi promised us”.

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The Liebster Award

The very kind, generous and excellent Ana (yes, her name was meant to be in a slightly different colour – that’s your cue to go and check out her blog) has been kind, generous and excellent enough to nominate me for the Liebster Award. I believe there will be some kind of glitzy awards ceremony to follow but in the meantime I’m supposed to do three things (well actually 44 if you’re being pedantic but let’s not quibble).

1. Share 11 facts about yourself

2. Answer 11 questions from the blogger who nominated you

3. Nominate up to 11 bloggers and write 11 questions for them to answer

Those of you who lived through the hilarity of me being associated with the word “Sunshine” on two previous award occasions will know that I’m not great on nominating others or posing questions but who knows, by the end of this I may have changed my mind.

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In A Long Line Of Cars

I spy with my little eye something beginning with…

How’s that going to work? You’re stuck in traffic all alone, dimwit. You need at least one additional person for a satisfactory game of I-Spy. Preferably someone older than two unless you want another round of I spy with my little eye something beginning with…tree. At least five year olds make it interesting by spying things you can’t actually see.

“…beginning with…C!”

“Cricket bat?”

“No.”

“Cricket ball?”

“No.”

“Cricket stadium.”

“No.”

“Chlorine.”

“No dad! You can’t see chlorine when we’re swimming.”

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To Infinity-ish And Beyond!

So here’s the thing.

I’ve got ninety-nine wonderful followers of this blog.

And…

…I’d like to get one more.

There I’ve said it.

I’ve admitted to you all that I am nothing but a shameless approval-seeking dopamine fiend, and frankly I’m absolutely fine with it. I even went to the trouble of referencing a well known pop song with my header photo.

Just imagine the other 88 balloons are there, don’t be so bloody picky.

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