Lightbulb Lament

I’d very much like an idea

A nugget of wisdom or gold

Two blokes on a train?

Two frogs in a drain?

Or a mystical vision foretold?


I really would like an idea

Something meaty on which I could chew

In a literary sense

As I mean no offense

To those with a veganist view


An idea would truly be splendid

It really has been quite a while

Since I wrote something decent

Or witty or recent

Incisive or laden with bile


Two quid for a proper idea

I can’t say much fairer than that

If it’s more than a drabble

Or a bunch of old babble

I’ll throw in a slightly worn hat


A fiver. My finalmost offer.

And yes of course it’s a word.

Like frumptious and frispy

And dozzle and drimpy

And wherezmyideayouturd.


Fine. Keep all your bloody ideas.

I bet they’re all shitty and bland

But next time you see me

Don’t be smiley and beamy

And kindly please talk to the hand


Header image: By William J. Hammer – Downloaded from Elmer Ellsworth Burns (1910) The Story of Great Inventions, Harper & Brothers, New York, p.123, fig.59 on Google Books., Public Domain,

13 thoughts on “Lightbulb Lament

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